I think I've said that before, in my previous post Race For Life.
I wasn't sure why I agreed to sign up for the Race. It didn't seem like me at all. Had I just lost the ability to say 'no'?
Then all of a sudden, my motivation became much clearer.
Tonight was my first training run for my Race For Life. I'll be doing the real thing in July, so I'm thinking that's still 3 months away. Plenty of time to get fit, ahem.
I've been putting it off, and off... but the good weather and a husband home relatively early from work meant that I no longer had an excuse. Plus, I needed to try on the kit that I had been sent before it got too late.
I thought I'd just take a stroll out around our local area to check the distance and see how I felt about running.
I turned my music up, and as Take That blasted out, I just decided. 'I can do this'.
I started to jog and felt very self-conscious in my bright pink top and cap so I kept my head down. I was afraid that I would be overtaken by some walkers, I was so slow. I was barely putting one foot in front of another.
My heart began pounding after 30 seconds, and my breath was so short that I seriously worried I might fall over. Did I ever tell you I've been diagnosed with sports-induced asthma? Yes, that is a 'thing', apparently. My lungs are not even big enough to do a proper blow-test.
Anyhow, enough with the excuses. I'm never going to be Zola Budd. That wasn't my aim. I'm not competitive in the slightest, though I always did get embarrassed at how poorly I performed at any sports.
I kept on going, promising myself I could stop where there was a break in the path. Then when I got to that, I thought 'just a little bit further, across that road'. Then I realised I was hidden from the road and no-one could see how slowly I was running so my embarrassment disappeared and I concentrated on putting one foot in front of another. And another.
Then another road to cross, and I was in full view now of drivers for the first time. I kept my head down (the cap is actually brilliant for blocking your view) and ploughed on. I realised there was a lady walking on the other side of the road, in the same direction as me... and I was overtaking her! Maybe I wasn't as slow and as rubbish as I'd thought!
My chest was aching though and I really thought I'd have to stop, or at least walk. Then I thought of the total unfairness of this stupid C word, and I decided I wanted to keep going for everybody. For everyone who has had to suffer, and who have and have had life much more difficult than me.
I ran a whole mile without stopping. It may not be much to you, but to me it was masses. It was a case of Mind over Matter and wanting to prove a point badly enough. Not sure who to exactly, but I did it.
My fundraising page for this is www.justgiving.com/stephcurtis
Huge thanks to my first sponsor, the fabulous Steph (great name) who writes at Was This In The Plan? She and her family are a huge inspiration to me and helped to keep my feet moving (though worth noting she didn't help with the embarrassment levels as she has run several marathons as opposed to my measly mile). Thanks also to the lovely Rebecca who writes at the Beesley Buzz for her kind donation. I also thought of my little brother who is about to run his fifth London Marathon for a fifth different charity. He's a star and you can read about his quest here.
Me, I'm just doing the one Race. I should have started younger.
Linking up with the fabulous VeViVos blog and her #PoCoLo linky:
